Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Shamed and Pained

Has it really been a year? Holy crap time escapes! I admit a degree of shame in seeing my badly neglected blog, though I will plead pain and suffering as part of why I've been so amiss.

A precious few of you know that 2014 was a year of change for me. BIG change, almost as big as my hair underwent from the big Texas do of 1986 to the super long, super straight do I currently sport today. For those of you in the dark I'll try to be brief.

1989 - broke my back
1989-March 7, 2014 - constant pain, hydrocodone addiction, cold turkey, debilitating pain, depression
March 7, 2014 - went primal. Think paleo but with dairy.
March 24, 2014 - no longer needed asthma meds, pain meds, acid reflux meds.

Apparently I had some sort of allergy to gluten or grain or whatever it was that I stopped eating, and when I quite eating whatever it was, the chronic inflammation around my back at last subsided. My asthma retreated, and so did the acid reflux. Cue the singing of angels please.

In May of 2014, 20 pounds lighter and able to move without pain for the first time in decades, I did something I'd always dreamed of doing. I signed up for MMA classes. Tae Kwon Do. Boxing. Ju Jitsu. Hapkido. Even some Krav Maga.

By July I was another 20 pounds lighter and sporting a yellow belt. Not bad for fat old dame. But a new problem had cropped up. The pain in my spine had been replaced by bursitis in my right hip, and if I thought the back had hurt boy was I in for a treat! I did everything they told me to, took time off from the gym, took pills, did special stretching, got shots in it, nothing. Finally I had an MRI done in December.

As it turns out I have bulging discs between every lumbar vertebrae. They bulge to the left, which probably explains why I tend to slouch to the right side when I sit at my desk. The slouching and sitting is what they think caused the bursitis, and baby it ain't going nowhere.

I'm still in MMA training, though I must rely more on fakes, treachery, and a sledgehammer left hook than on speed and fancy footwork. I learned how to do a flying side kick. I can knock your ass out while wearing pink gloves. And I've dropped a total of 65 pounds which, yay me. And I'm writing again, or typing as it were, but at a much slower pace thanks to balancing my laptop on my lap rather than at my desk with my beloved ergonomic keyboard.

I ordered a lap desk with cooling fans, and I'm writing again. 3500 words a day... except for today because I spent 4 hours refinishing two chapters and another hour playing Pepper Panic.

Here's to 2015.